One of the things that I still want to do is to learn to ride a horse.
It's also one of the things that scare the living crap out of me.
It's not that I'm afraid of horses. Far from it. There's usually several Mounted officers outside of Madison Square Garden, and the horses are used to being patted and talked to by strangers. In my neighborhood, too, we sometimes have Mounted officers patrolling, and I am definitely not spooked by their size. When you look at horses (and some dogs) in the eye, you can actually see someone looking back at you (forget about cats!).
What scares me is falling off and badly hurting myself. I guess as one gets older, the consequences of doing something stupid become more apparent and that instills a certain sense of caution that isn't there at a younger, more innocent age.
One concern is damaging my teeth. I would not want to go through another root canal, or possible reattachment, or a possible dental implant. Along the same lines, I worry about eye damage during a fall. As Andrea can attest, I've been through enough eye infections, corneal ulcers, chalazions and whatnot to do a remote consult on someone else, determine meds and dosing schedule and have it 100% verified by a "real" ophthalmologist.
Oddly enough, breaking an arm or leg (or rib) doesn't seem to be as plausible or probable to me. As I've mentioned before, I have very dense bones and they don't break easily. When I was nine or ten, I was sitting on my bicycle looking down into my neighbors back yard from my back yard. (The houses in my area are terraced, so "ground level" in my yard is actually about 20-30 feet above the neighbor's "ground level"). There was no fence, I lost my footing, and down the slope I went - I wound up flying off my bike, having it land on top of me and having the wind knocked out of me. Thinking back, it was terrifying to not be able to breathe for about 10 seconds. Many, many, many years later, when I had to take a chest x-ray, the technician remarked that I had a very faint mark on one rib, probably from a slight crack. He asked me if I had ever had an accident - at that point I was well aware what it was from but was too embarrassed to admit it.
No, what really upsets me is thinking about Christopher Reeve. Spinal or cervical injuries from a horseback incident is the thing that is always holding me back. Depending on how you look at it, I was fortunate (or unfortunate) enough to actually meet him after his accident during a black-tie charity dinner at Windows on the World. It's one thing to read about his being strapped into his wheelchair and having his respirator pump air in and out for him and another thing to actually see and hear it. It really made a lasting impression - and this has always stopped me from even trying horseback riding. And yet, when I watch the rodeo, I see these people getting thrown from bulls and walking away from it.
I know it's an unreasonable fear. I also know that I'm not going to be in an equestrian competition like he was. I also know I'm not going to be in a rodeo. As with any fear, I guess I'm going to have to desensitize myself little by little. Maybe start with a pony. Then move up to a swayback. Then an regular older horse. Then a normal, placid horse. Eventually, I would like to be able to do this:
