Untucked

Old habits die hard.

I've finally decided to do something that would have a number of my former elementary and high school teachers spinning in their graves at a rate that could power the country for a few decades.

I'm going to wear my shirt untucked (at least on some casual occasions).

Yep - it's amazing what baggage gets picked up during eight long years of catholic elementary school and four years of catholic high school.

They would be APPALLED. Absolutely horrified. The fabric of the cosmos is being torn asunder as I write this entry.

It all began in second grade with Sister Jane (more like BDSM Mistress Jane - now looking back) in getting us little ones ready for first Holy Communion. The primary order barked at us was "Keep those fannies off the seat!", followed closely by "Tuck in that shirt!" (we also had to perform standing, sitting and kneeling based on the number of 'clicks' the evil woman demanded of us with her Holy Hand Clicker of Antioch).

The "Tuck!" command was not aimed at me - but the commandment insinuated itself deep into my subconscious - "Thou shalt never wear thy shirt outside of thy pants!"

Along with a number of changes this 2008, I decided to try the forbidden fruit ... during a friend's holiday party, I wore a white shirt and jeans with a hoodie and by God, it felt marvelous! The fact that those shirttails were peeking out beneath the hoodie not only looked great, but felt great too!

Decadent. Wickedly sinful. Depraved. I can see Mephistopheles rubbing his hands together in glee.

I wonder if this is what Eve felt when she took that first bite ...

So this adds yet another notch on the belt of iniquitous things I've done this year.

Poor Sister Jane. I've succumbed to temptation at last.

And my fanny is firmly on the seat when I kneel.

Geek Break IV: Symbolic Math to the Rescue ...

For those of you that have been following the blog, I wanted to dispel any possible notions that after becoming adept at swordwork and archery, AND slimming down, AND being mistaken for a male model AND reveling in the rather chilly Spartan costume (pics to come!), that my IQ has somehow dropped into the two digit range and is more in line with my waist measurements.

Consider:

which makes me think of a discourse involving Rene Descartes. Exasperated, he shouted at the offending oaf:

"X-squared + Y-squared equals one ... therefore, God exists. Refute That!"

'Nuff said.

The Anla'shok

It's done!

The last piece of the puzzle - a stylized belt buckle - was completed by Russ and was promptly shipped to Andrea for attachment to the belt/baldric.

Then I got it. Along with the rest of the outfit. Andrea performed her magic once more and I cannot believe how beautiful and comfortable the outfit is. Well, yes I can. After all, it is Andrea's work!

As to the details of the outfit:

The shirt - Andrea made a black twill body with the checked chevron lower sleeves and a brown/tan cowl. We were also able to find a dark brown, shimmery type of ribbon that edges the chevrons.

The tunic - an oatmeal-colored tunic with brown/tan striped inserts at the throat that highlight the cowl and serve as a base for the baldric. Again, we used the shimmery brown ribbon as highlights on this piece

The baldric/belt - one of the most incredible pieces of work Andrea has done to date. Dark brown material with the shimmery ribbon highlights, plus all the extra work she had done with attaching the belt buckle from Russ. I had asked him for something that incorporated some Minbari-ish sweeping curves with some Vorlon-ish organic elements. He did a beautiful job!

Here's a funny story - my buddy Tom and I are always talking that in modern society, it is extremely difficult to be decadent. Frivolous, self-indulgent or gauche, maybe, but not decadent. The ancient Romans had that perfected to an artform that we seem to have lost. Perhaps the last whiff of decadence was the Weimar Republic in the early twentieth century. My ring of Barahir was not considered decadent - that was an "investment". However, when he saw the custom sterling silver buckle (now remember, this buckle is about 5" square - it's HUGE!) with the mitsuro sculptured nebula and carved White Stars - and the price I paid for it - his eyes widened and he grinned. "You've done it - you've hit the low end of decadent." Woo-hoo!

The pants - are my leather swordmaster pants from Reg at Ravenswood Leather. I used these in my Aragorn costume. I liked the juxtaposition of lace-up leather pants in a twenty-third century Ranger, and to follow J. Michael Straczynski's homage to Lord of the Rings.

I love Russ' comment - "I have to say it. I really respect a man who can pull off leather pants."

The boots - my Han Solo boots from Caboots. These are wonderfully comfortable and go with so many periods and costumes.

The robe - again, going with canon, this is a long flowing robe with a black yoke and the patterned panels around the sides. It was a real pain to find the triangular fasteners, but we did! It turned out that combining two fasteners together was perfect! There was also a bit of "origami"-type folding work to get the back yoke properly placed.

And so, I have another wonderful outfit thanks to my material and metallic muses - Andrea and Russ!

Thanks guys!

Addendum:

I happened to go to a small con earlier this month as my Minbari Ranger. I received quite a number of compliments on the outfit. The best thing was, I had this one guy that kept staring at me from across the room. He finally came over and said, "I can't believe how f***ing incredible the badge and the belt look. That is what they should have been if we had had a bigger budget."

It was Dark Hoffman - one of the property masters who actually worked on the Babylon 5 series!!!

Wow! How's that for life imitating (and vastly outdoing) art!!!!

Smoke and Mirrors

Pre-Flight Checklist - Spartan

Leather Speedo
Cloak, Shoulder Harness and Brooch
Bronze Greaves
Bronze Vambraces
Bronze Helmet
Bronze Aspis Shield
Spear
Falcata Sword
Sandals
Battle Totem to make a Persian soil his loincloth
Muscular Definition (enough for me!)
Mediterranean tan

I asked JJ for the aspis shield later in the costuming process, so I didn't expect to get it with the rest of the stuff. It took us a while to find shield blanks in the right size and shape for an accurate recreation. I'm a patient guy. The upside is I'm also getting a Boromir shield at the same time! Woo-hoo!

But the tan ... Ahhhh. Now that presents a problem. You see, I am light-complexioned and tend to burn, rather than tan. SPF15 is my friend. Not nordic pale, nor fish-belly white (thank God!), but if I take off my shirt, you can see the considerable difference between my face and hands and the rest of me. (Does this, then, make me a type of redneck?) The color in my face, hands and lower arms is a pale gold.

My friend Mike is just the opposite. He's got a light olive complexion, but if he spends one lousy hour in the sun, he's got a killer tan that lasts for weeks. Damn him.

There's no way I'd go to a tanning salon - I have no intention of developing melanoma. Also, I don't want to prematurely age my skin, either.

And over-the-counter aerosol or rub-on tans are also something I wouldn't consider. I don't want to look like a variegated carrot with nicotine-colored palms. After all, if I spent this amount of time and effort to look like a Spartan, I'm not going to ruin it by getting a cheap tan.

That leaves me with a professional airbrush tan. I pass by this one place - the Spa Meridian - every day to work, so I decided to do some Googling and see if there was any reviews for them. It turns out they are basically a glorified nail salon that tries to do everything and winds up doing nothing well.

Some other information that I came across while looking for a reputable place was something called "sculpted airbrushing" - this involves using some slightly different tones to "accentuate the positive" - one guy on Yahoo! indicated that the place he used added the illusion of a slightly flatter stomach and hints of a six-pack. Nice ... Just what I'm looking for...

My Google search led me to Sundara Sunless Tanning. This is all that they do and they are listed as a 5-star establishment from New York Magazine. Sundara (which means "beautiful" in Sanskrit) does a customized color match to your skin - with me, I'd most-likely need a more golden color, rather than reddish-brown. I'd also be looking for something a bit more subtle than the picture to the left - I'd probably take the day off for the paint job and if I came in the next day with a savage tan, everyone would know something was afoot. I need to go in to Sundara for a consultation - I do have some questions that I'd like answered:

1. Given my proclivity to eye infections, how is the spray applied to around the eyes?
2. What about the normal face and neck shaving? Isn't this going to take the tan off quickly? Do they offer a take-home touch up for guys?
   
3. Do I need to exfoliate all over first, or is that something that Sundara offers as part of the prep?

Addendum:
I've updated the checklist to include the aspis shield which I received on December 24!!

Arrrrrrr!!!

As I mentioned in my previous post, I am also the proud owner of a basket-hilt rapier. This serves dual duty for my pirate and generic swordsman outfits. As usual, my regular partners in crime were involved:

• Reg - for the sword frog and the leather pirate vest
• Andrea - for a splendid ruffled piratical shirt in sapphire blue linen
• Joey - for the bucket boots
  

A few new "special guest appearances" were also involved. These included an ebay seller for the rapier itself, and Centerstagecostumes.com for the sash in black satin with gold trim.

I've found now that I've reached a "critical mass" of costume articles, what I can do with them is really quite amazing. I have some Highlander/Swordsman-type shirts both from Reg and from Snowbirds Creations which when paired with a pair of long gauntlets, or archer's vambraces, can be used anywhere. The great thing is that everything I have is comfortable. I don't have a problem wearing anything for an extended period of time.

I think of all the costumes I've put together so far, this was the easiest; of course, I have the constant struggle with Reg and due dates, but after my Greg Podgorny fiasco, I've come to realize that late (and no prepayment) is better than never - even if I have to nag the guy. Andrea - well, what can I say about her that I haven't already? She is an absolute joy to work with. Joey and Priscilla of Caboots - great folks. These were a set of their "standard" boots which are more comfortable than sneakers.

After this was put together, I was able to add a few little "twists" to the costume. I purchased a mask from Greyland Films - a very famous (in the Czech Republic) film production company known for their realistic latex foam creations - and a Jack Sparrow wig/bandanna combination from eBay. The mask was supposed to be an American Indian, but works extremely well as a pirate. I went to two "Pirates of the Caribbean" parties and the masked and unmasked versions were both very well received.