Window on the West

The Private Investigator Story!

Bear with me folks - this entry ties together a lot of loose strings from other entries. Particularly the "Weapons and Warfare" entry.

I had decided to also go for an Ithilien Ranger costume, and at that point in time my two principal vendors were Andrea and Reg.

My motivation was some really great pictures on the alleycatscratch.com site of the Ranger's parade in Wellington, plus an extremely detailed breakdown of each costume piece.

Andrea, of course, had no problem with the shirt, the neck cover/mask and the tabard. They were done in about 3 weeks.

Reg, would be doing the underbracers, bracers, tunic, cuirass and gorget. Knowing Reg's inability to get stuff done on time, I made sure I gave him eight months advance notice.

"Reg, do you swear to God you're going to get this stuff done on time, this time? Am I going to have to keep calling you because you'd forget your head if it wasn't attached?"

We set the date of October 1 to have all the pieces in my hands. Not shipped. Not almost ready. Delivered.

The other thing I needed for the outfit was an Ithilien Ranger sword. Why I didn't think of JJ at this point, still escapes me, but I went ahead and contacted Eyal Azerad at Darksword Armory in Quebec for the commission. We discussed the project and Eyal put me in his queue; the expected delivery date was 6 months. So everything would be coming due at the same time. Nice. I also decided at that time, that as a birthday gift, I'd give Andrea my Faramir sword and have Eyal make another one up for me.

With two HUGE exceptions (Garry, Andrea's husband and Corey Sosner) I've been universally disappointed with every single item I've gotten from a Canadian vendor. They're sloppy.

I give Reg a call on September 1 - just to see if we're on track.

"Oh yeah! I've got all the leather cut and I'll have them out to you before I go to the Texas Faire."

"Oh, how long is the faire?"

"About 2-3 months."

DAMN. Here we go again. Deep breath. Relax. Unclench my hands. Look around for someone to beat the living s**t out of.

"When are you going?"

"End of the month."

"So you promise me you'll get the stuff out, RIGHT? You're not going to miss your deadline again?"

"I promise! I promise!"

Well, you can guess exactly what happened. Not only did Reg not get the stuff out by the end of the month, he was off gallivanting in Texas. The term "volcanic fury" does not even begin to describe my feelings at that moment. This was the straw that broke the camel's back. I figured that I needed to find another vendor. Luckily, I hadn't given Reg a deposit. (Unluckily, if I had, I wouldn't have been so eager to find someone else).

Introducing ....

With some help, I found Greg Podgorny of Podgorny Designs and I give him a call. He's an MFA and had done a full set of Gimli armor, does plate armor and forges swords. We exchange emails and he responded promptly. He picked up his phone. He returned voicemails. I get a written contract that states he will be done by end of January 2007. The only thing I'm not too thrilled about at this point is the fact that he wants to be paid 100% up front. (This should have set off warning bells, but I was too pissed off at Reg to listen to that little voice.)

I send Greg a bank check ... we still talk to each other on the phone and email. Even better. I even get progress photos!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch ...

Eyal has emailed me and has backed out of the Ithilien Ranger sword. Damn. Damn. Damn. He can't get the casting on the pommel to his satisfaction. He sends me the new Faramir sword. It's beautiful - except for three items:

1. All the leather is black, instead of green. We had specifically agreed to faded green leather in all the email correspondence
2. There's no etched ravens on the pommel - according to him, the material he used is too hard to etch.
3. The scabbard doesn't fit properly and it is not the "Faramir" scabbard. The metal aglet is also slightly rusted.

Since I'm on a roll with Greg, I ask him if he can do another scabbard and do the Ithilien sword. Again - not a problem, except the 100% up-front thing. I agree. I send him the Faramir sword from Eyal for the etching and the replacement scabbard.

As the deadline looms closer ...

I give Greg a call on January 10. He's actually finished everything and is just waiting for some nice weather to "age" the leather. He's all set to ship on January 16. By the end of the week, I don't get the items and I call ... I get his voicemail, but I figure Greg's off-site - he often does movie work and is not in the office/forge for a few days.

Two weeks ... three weeks. Nothing. Zip. Nada.

I call his neighbor (he's next to a woodworking place) - he hasn't seen him. I send registered mail. Nothing.

!@#@#@@#$%$&^$##^$$%*!!!!

So now I'm out over $2000, I still don't have my Ithilien Ranger sword PLUS I no longer have a Faramir sword.

Well, back to the drawing board ...

So I give Reg a call. I had told him previously that because he couldn't meet the deadline I had to use someone else. Of course, both he and Larkin were extremely apologetic when I blew them off. So my excuse was I wanted a second Ithilien ranger outfit. He actually got it done and the stuff was, as usual, visually stunning - just very, very late. And nearly free since Reg felt so bad about disappointing me in the first place. The only problem was the boot toppers - they were this bright palomino gold color - a nice color, if you like your eyes to bleed. Another pair, this time in a darker brown was completed and was being shipped out on April 5. These are in a weathered milk-chocolate brown and look perfect with the outfit.

This was also around the same time as I was having such a hassle with that witch Kathy Pillsbury with the Han Solo costume. At this point, I was so damn angry I decided I'd hire a private investigator to track Greg down and either get my money back, or get my costume and swords (or have his kneecaps broken, depending on who I'd hire).

So I look for private investigators in the Los Angeles area (Greg was in Pacoima, which is a suburb of Los Angeles) and shell out $275 for a "basic locate". I was hoping to get either a cell phone number, residence address or something to speak with Greg and rip him a new one. Greg is definitely one tough person to locate, because as of this writing, the PI still can't find him and I'm getting a refund.

... Then back from the dead ...

All of a sudden, I get a package from Greg - now this is the end of February 2007. He's 30 days late on his written contract, so he's technically in breach. I can sue the jerk if I want to. In the box is my Ithilien Ranger outfit and it fits great. This one is deliberately scratched and worn - which is the way I wanted it - so I really do wind up with two usable Ranger outfits. And - wonders of wonders - there's another 818 phone number. I call it and I actually speak to the idiot.

And I hear a tale of woe. I really don't give a rat's ass at this point, but hearing how bad he sounded and what actually happened, I did feel a little sorry for the guy.

Now, Greg's old place of business in Pacoima was zoned for industrial use only. Given the rents in that area, Greg decided to also reside there. And conveniently forgot to tell his landlord. His neighbor - his supposed friend who ran the woodworking store - wanted to expand his business and so he decided to tell the landlord about Greg's living arrangements. The landlord got angry and gave Greg five days to vacate the premises. He packed what he could in his pickup truck, gave as much equipment he could to friends and still left a lot of stuff there when the L.A. County sheriffs came to padlock the place. Greg drove cross-country and is living with/near his parents in North Carolina and is fixing up his grandfather's apartment that hadn't been lived in for about 15 years. One of his friends gave him a cell phone - which was the number on the package label - and this same friend had mailed out the Ithilien Ranger package. The Eyal/Faramir sword was still with either this friend or another in California and he/she would send that out to him when he was ready to make the scabbard. The swordwork was supposed to be finished by March 30, 2007.

Greg was going to be doing some lectures/classes at the college he graduated from and swore up and down that he would forge the sword and make the scabbard for the classes. I could call him any time on the new number.

... And out for the count ...

So, I talked to Greg twice on the new number, and after that - I'm just getting his voicemail - just like the last time. Then the message switched to "This number is temporarily out of service". Now someone else has the number with a different message. I don't even have a mailing address. So I'm out the money I gave him for doing the Ithilien sword and I'm out the money I spent with Eyal on making another Faramir sword. About $1800 in total.

And the almost-happy ending ...

• Reg has another Faramir sword, which he is going to send me - when - is the big question since he's off to a faire in Escondido in two weeks.

• JJ is doing the Ithilien sword (for about $900)

At least I'm getting my stuff done by reputable vendors. I just had to blow a large chunk of change to do it.